#53 The Best Bits of The Powerhouse Revolution Podcast

Hi, there. And welcome back to this week’s episode of The Powerhouse Revolution podcast. Happy Christmas and a very Happy New Year to you too. I hope you are enjoying some time with your family and friends. I hope Santa was good to you, and you got some nice gifts and that you’re having a really, really nice time. So at this time of year, I’m always reflecting on the year that’s just gone before and I’m planning for next year. And I just cannot believe how much my life has changed in 2022. Because it was Christmas time last year when I actually left my corporate career to focus on my business full time. So I had the business for over a year before as a side hustle. I had built it up, I had made loads of mistakes, I had pushed myself beyond belief out of my comfort zone doing things I never thought possible. And now my life is totally different. Today, I have a thriving business that I love. I get to support amazing women in leadership just like you. And I just feel so so grateful. So I encourage you before you know last week, we were talking all about goal setting. I want you just to reflect on your year in 2022. And look at all your achievements big and small. What did you overcome mentally this year? What did you overcome personally this year? What can you be proud of if you gave yourself permission, because it’s all there. So just don’t forget to pause and to really celebrate your success because that will raise your vibrational energy, and you will attract more good things into your life scientifically proven.

So on this week’s episode, we are going to be sharing some of the 2022 best bets, we’re gonna be talking about setting boundaries, we are going to be talking about creative visualization, we’re talking about strategies for success, and so so much more. So this is an episode I would love, love, love, love if you could share with your colleagues because it is a complete, I suppose synopsis of our year together on the power house Revolution podcast. So I would love for you to send this on to three women in leadership in your network that you know would absolutely love this podcast because I rely on you to help me to get the word out there and I will be so so grateful. And you’ll be given your colleagues a gift. So I hope you enjoy the best bits. And that’s it have a very, very happy new year and I’ll talk to you again in 2023. Enjoy.

If you don’t set your personal boundaries, and if you don’t communicate what is and isn’t acceptable to you, how do you expect others to know they are not mind reader’s. Now, you may be thinking that when it comes to your job or your industry, time boundaries, like I’ve just described won’t work. But I promise you, not only will they work, but they will make you more valuable to your organization. Why? Because you’ll be focused on the right stuff, you’ll be more productive, you’ll be more strategic, you’ll be less reactive and more proactive, you’ll be calmer, you’ll be more in control and ultimately you and your team and those who work with you will be happier. Sound good? Okay. Next, let’s talk about how you can actually do this how to set your boundaries. So I’m going to give you a three step method that I created to help you to do this. And I’ve designed a worksheet to accompany this episode to guide you through step by step. It is pretty comprehensive. I’m feeling really generous again today. And you can find it at the show notes at Lucy garnon.com forward slash 002. So I call my method the dot method D AD and it has three steps. Define apply different I’ll take you through the steps right now. Number one, define your personal rules and boundaries, I want you to be proactive and take a pen and piece of paper within 24 hours of listening to this episode, and write them out. I’ve designed the workbook, like I said, to accompany this episode to guide you. And you can grab it in the show notes at Lucy garnon.com, forward slash 002. Step two, apply your personal rules, you’ve got to put them into action. And step three, defend your personal rules. Imagine you’re like Princess Khaleesi, in Game of Thrones defending her kingdom. God, I love that show. And I, you know, I really thought it wasn’t my thing originally, if you haven’t watched Game of Thrones, just imagine a beautiful princess defending her kingdom with fire breathing dragons defend at all costs. We all have this inner critic, and it’s different for all of us. And this is the term that’s sometimes used to describe the unwanted voices inside your head that stop you from moving forward. And you know, your inner critic has shown up because you feel inadequate in some way, and you feel really badly about yourself. And this is exactly where your self doubt is stemming from. But just know that these voices were created to protect you as a survival or coping mechanism from childhood usually. Now there is a way that you can stop these negative voices, these voices that are stopping you from becoming who you were born to be from, from going for that promotion, or for saying what you want to say or for being assertive to take control of your work life balance. You can take control of this. But it does take time and work and repetition, but you can do it. In fact, a lot of the work I focus on with my one to one clients is this mindset work, because it just takes time and you need tools. And you need to understand your own mind. But I promise you, if you can master your mind, you can master anything. I actually once had a client who wanted to go for a promotion. And although she had over 20 years experience, and she had been headhunted for the role, and she knew, you know, she had belief in her own ability, she just didn’t feel confident about taking the actual role. If that was a man, he would have jumped headfirst. So cue imposter syndrome. This imposter syndrome is just so prevalent in women. With my clients, she knew she had big shoes to fill. And she was using her energy doubting herself, instead of channeling that energy into focusing on why she was hired in the first place. So we worked through all of this as part of the my program powerhouse revolution. And I helped her to break through and shine and she absolutely did have a smile on her thinking about her. Like, it’s so funny because when you look at your your colleagues, or even if you look at a leader that you record or you admire, you’re going to see so much positivity about that person, you’re going to think she’s a powerhouse, you’re going to think, wow, look what she does. And I can guarantee you, most women just don’t feel comfortable putting themselves out there, even the ones who are are freed and usually a little bit uncomfortable about it. So mindset, work takes time, consistency, dedication, and repetition. And like I said, once you have the right tools and the right support, I promise you, you can kick negative self talk for God’s. So today, I’m going to give you a little head start on how you can begin to stop these negative voices. So the number one thing you can do, which sounds simple, and it’s always the simple things that are the most powerful. It’s just awareness. I want you to imagine yourself when those voices start in your head telling you you’re not good enough or you’re not worthy, or people think this about you. And if I say this, they’ll think this about me, I want you to just become an observer of your thoughts. So literally, you know, disconnect from your body and your mind and just kind of imagine there’s another you floating, watching you and do this playfully with curiosity. Become aware that you are not your thoughts. You are not your thoughts, you aren’t completely separate from your thoughts, your thoughts are just taken over your mind. And as you get to know your Gremlins or your inner critic, and the more aware you become you will learn to live easier with them. They never really go away but you can learn to manage them, okay, and everyone has them.

9:33
I really linked my self worth to my perfect achievements. And I rarely saw the progress if I wasn’t making you know, if I was making if I wasn’t hating those big goals. And I still have to really watch it. By the way in my own business. I have to be aware that this perfectionist tendencies within me, but now I consciously allow myself to make mistakes. So sometimes I’ll put up a social media post and there’ll be a typo on ginawa I leave it. And some people may think that’s unprofessional. But for me, it actually signifies so much more. It’s that if there’s a tiny, teeny tiny spelling mistake, it doesn’t mean that you have to take it down and redo all the work that you’ve already done, right? If it’s already out there in the world, nothing is going to happen if you’ve got the occasional spelling mistake. Now, I pride myself on excellence and professionalism. So it’s really rare that I would do that. But I’m just giving that as an example, that sometimes you’ve got to allow yourself to make mistakes, and be okay with things not being perfect. Perfection is actually achieve less than those with healthier attitudes, because they’re focused on perfectionism robs them of motivation, and can you know, bring on procrastination and other self sabotaging behaviors? Okay, so it’s not a good thing, you’re not actually being as productive as you think. And actually, there was some there was a current study it was, but there was a lot of CEOs interviewed, I think, or something like 80% of them would rather that they didn’t have perfections working for them, because perfections are not as productive, right? So it’s all about adding value when you’re in business. So you might be wondering, now who some of this is resonating? Am I a perfectionist? Am I not? So I’m gonna give you five signs that you’re a perfectionist. So if you’re multitasking, come back to me and listen. So the first one is you are highly critical of yourself and others. perfectionists feel anxious a lot of the time, and they’re more critical of themselves and others that high achievers. High achievers take pride in their accomplishment tend to be more supportive of others, whereas perfectionist tend to spot mistakes and imperfections. And that’s not really good for building relationships, right? They hone in on on imperfections and have trouble seeing anything else. And they’re far more judgmental and harden themselves when a failure does occur. So for you, does that sound like you? Are you hard on yourself? Do you have high levels and high standards for your team and others around you? And just reflect like, how does that affect your relationships? The second sign your perfectionist is you feel pushed by fear. So the difference between a high achiever and a perfectionist is high achievers tend to be pulled towards their goals by a desire to achieve them. They’re happy with any steps made in the right direction, so moving forward. Whereas perfectionists on the other hand tend to feel pushed towards their goal. They’re being pushed by fear of not reaching them. And they see anything less than a perfectly met goal as a failure. Which is really sad, right. And that’s exactly how I used to be. But I promise you, it doesn’t have to be that way. The third sign your perfectionist is having unrealistic standards or expectations. So unfortunately, a perfectionist goals aren’t always reasonable. High achievers can set their goals high and perhaps enjoying the fun of going a little further once goals are reached. Whereas perfectionist often set their initial goals out of reach. So for example, you might have a project that really should take three months, and you decide not, I’m gonna get it done by next week. And you put yourself under all this pressure to deliver and then you don’t, then you feel like a failure. So you’re setting yourself up for failure. Okay? The fourth sign your perfectionist is only focusing on results. So high achievers can enjoy the process of chasing a goal. And that’s where I’m at right now. I love my business. It’s such fun, like setting goals and seeing what happens. And, you know, if you’re a high achiever, you may enjoy the whole process more than actually reaching the goal itself. However, in contrast, perfectionist, see the goal, and nothing else. They’re so concerned about meeting the goal, and avoiding the dreaded failure that they think that’s going to happen, that they just can’t enjoy the process of growing and striving. And then they can feel really depressed and down by unmet goals. And then the fifth sign that you’re a perfectionist is procrastination. Now this might actually be contrary or counterintuitive, but it can be very true of some perfectionists. perfectionists worry so much about doing something imperfectly, that sometimes they won’t do anything at all. So for example, if you’re a perfectionist, and you’re asked to take on a new task and work that stretches you or puts you out of your comfort zone, you may put it on the long finger or just try get rid of it. Try delegators and the fear of failure is real, as it really manifests in your body as that fight and flight. So it’s it’s a real feeling right? This it’s not an easy thing to be a perfectionist, believe me, I’ve been there. And you may be disappointed by anything less than perfection and failure becomes a very, very scary prospect. So do you see yourself in any of those five things? Are you a perfectionist? So if you are a perfectionist, I have a personal message for you. So if you’re multitasking, please, please listen to me. Okay? I’ve been where you are, okay? And I want you to No, there is no such thing as perfect. Sometimes in the corporate space, it’s about achieving, right. And it’s about getting to the next level. And it’s about demonstrating competency. And it’s about I’m going to show them and you know, a lot of us link our, our sense of self and our sense of self worth to our achievements, which it can be a good thing, but can also be pretty detrimental at times, when things don’t go your way. So talk to me a little bit about what you would advise to people who feel like that they’re on the hamster wheel that they’re working all year to get to that outperform category and they’re burning themselves out. What advice would you give them?

16:00
I think, first and foremost, it’s so important that we’re true to ourselves. I completely get the, you know, striving to achieve. You know, yeah, I know, I’m a, I’m an achiever, and I can take it to the extreme of being hyper achiever and the pressure that comes and how much that can be, you know, not candy was for me connected to exactly this story. I said, because it was like, you know, I’ve got to prove. And I think for particularly for a lot of women in the world of work, we have to sometimes work twice as hard to prove that we’re, we’re good enough. But also that imposter syndrome is kind of vagina, same for me was underneath, which was like, whoa, whoa, dawns on me. So he’s going to find out soon enough, you were just lucky to get here. And I think the biggest piece of advice I can give is, you know, is to be true to yourself, is that vulnerability is our strength. It’s not our weakness. And as a leader, manager, and in my own experience of leading and managing, and in managing groups now, that my willingness, to be honest, to be real, enables other people and gives them liberates them to be honest and real as well. And actually, I think sometimes we think, Oh, it’s the guy looking look incompetent, I looked like I can’t, even I can’t do this, but actually, it demonstrates your leadership, that you’re willing to not know, you’re willing to say, I don’t know, what do you think, you know, how do we go by this. And the other is, and for me, has been the most important thing, when I’ve been leading, managing, working in stressful environments, is compassion, is compassion for myself, is holding that compassion is being gentle with myself, and kind to myself, you know, being able to say to myself, You did a good enough, a good enough job, because I think there is that perfectionism that can come in with the the hyper achieving as well. And that I’ve done a good enough job, and I can’t be perfect in every sphere of my life. And I do think that for, for me, and I can say it, you know, having worked, you know, through through life, you know, had kids, lots of challenges coming in through that in different ways. And that I was close to burnout, you know, on the hamster wheel. And all the women I coached women working in corporate world, I see how hard we are in ourselves. Yeah. Hard. And, and that is my, my wish for everyone, not just women, but because it applies to all us as human beings is that we can be more compassionate with ourselves. I’m more compassionate with others as well. We’re quick to judge ourselves, and we’re quick to judge others. So that they would be the big learnings I have had on my journey.

19:05
And how might you suggest that you know, if somebody right now is, is on that hamster wheel and they want they’re now listening, and they’re gone? You know what, I really would love to be more compassionate with myself. But I don’t know how, what advice

19:19
would you give them? One piece of advice I would give is get a childhood photograph of yourself. below the age of 11. I have mine here. So this is my title photo of me. So I have this on my desk. I have it actually just over to the right. We’re delighted to get up. And I had that on my table so that every time during the day, I find myself going into place of beating myself up give myself a hard time I look at her and I say Would you beat her up? Would you give her a hard time? And I look at her and I look at it and I go now I’m gonna just love her. She’s bloody amazing. I mean, you know, she’s just incredible. Why would I do that to her? And so that that is the first thing. The second thing is to step back into, just to acknowledge what are you grateful for today? I mean, what has gone really well, in your day? What is it that you’ve done really well? What is it that you’re really happy about? And, and, you know, I sometimes encourage clients to write letters to themselves, you know, in terms of, you know, being able to tell themselves, how amazing they are, and how great they are. And do something nice for yourself. No, go get your hair done, you know, go go, be kind I again, I know, these are things I’ve had to learn to do. I wasn’t so good at them. And, yeah, they will be a couple of things. And I think the other finally is, reach out for some help, like, reach out to a coach, reach out to somebody who helps you to go on that journey of, you know, in some ways, you know, I It’s kind of, it’s almost like falling back in love with yourself, like being your best friend.

21:19
Never over commit, and under deliver. So I saw this a lot when I worked in the corporate world, I saw leaders over committing because they were afraid to grow a pair and stand up and say they didn’t have capacity. And yes, sure, sometimes they delivered in principle, but the under delivery actually came in the mental health torture that they cause their team, that turmoil that they caused their team because they couldn’t stand up and say they didn’t have capacity. Like this makes my blood boil. I understand. I understand so much. And for so many years, I remember when I worked in the pharmaceutical industry, I worked in the in the quality department and you know, the manufacturing lines had to run and they’re all about churning, churning out the products because they’re a business. And for years, I used to bend over backwards to accommodate what the manufacturing side needed. Until I realized that the effect that it was having on my team was really not good. I’d have people waiting around doing overtime to see when you know, stuff will be coming in, I would have people on call at the weekends. And it’s just no way to live. And really, that was down to pure poor planning was on it was, you know, wasn’t joined up thinking was all these silos about, you know, you’re here to support us. So I stood my ground and I did the work. And I looked at the capacity of my team, I came up with how we wanted to operate. And I went to my boss, and I explained like, this is how this is our capacity. This is what I’m doing from now on, I want to try and force other departments to consider our department before I take on anymore. And it was really, really respected. And there’s nothing wrong with that you cannot do everything for everyone. So never over never overcommit and under deliver to your boss in two ways. Number one, in the way that you actually don’t get it done, because you don’t have capacity. Or number two, in that you under deliver in this in the sense that you you affect your team so much that they actually end up leaving, like I don’t know why people don’t put together these dots. But that’s what happens. If you know that there’s conflict between team members, you cannot just let it now conflict does not mean, you know, handbags at dawn pulling each other’s eyes out. It can mean just disagreements, right? So you need to use your emotional intelligence use all of who you are your head heart and got to really tune in to what’s happening with your team. And that comes back to what I always say is around having regular check ins with your team no matter what level you’re at, to make sure that there’s nothing happening. Okay, so acknowledging it is the first step. So the first thing I would say is acknowledge it privately, you need to address with both parties that you know this is happening. You need to start by saying something like I’ve noticed, okay, not such and such as told me or I heard, definitely don’t say I heard, say I’ve noticed and then fill in the blank. So I’ve noticed that yourself and such and such seem to have some bad energy at the moment, or I noticed you said this or tell me a little bit about what’s going on. Okay. So you want to understand, then I would say acknowledge it publicly if necessary. So this is really important. So say for example, if you’re at a team meeting, this is super important. So if you’re multitasking, come back to me. And you’re all there and you notice that one team member shuts another team member down and you get this sense in your gut that there’s something more to this comments, right. We’ve all been there but we’ve seen it. What you need to do as a leader is publicly say to that person, Brian, can you stay back off the meeting just for two minutes, just want to have a quick chat. That’s all you need to say. Because every other person who were at that meeting would have noticed that comment, and they are waiting for you, they’re waiting to see what you do. So it’s really important that you just acknowledge it don’t obviously get into the detail about anything in front of the team ever. But do just say ask the person to maybe stay back or something like that, just so you’re letting the rest of the team know that you’ve acknowledged it, and that you’re going to do something about it. Okay. The next thing I would say is acknowledge their pain and their frustrations. Okay, so if there is conflict, everyone sees the world through their own beliefs, and they live their lives true to their own values. So oftentimes, when other people don’t abide by our values, or don’t live or work the same as it was, it can cause confusion, unless you understand that not everybody has the same values or beliefs, right. So I acknowledge that these people when they are in these complex situations, and I mean, we’ve all been there, their pain and their frustration is real. So it’s important for you as a leader to really listen and acknowledges even if you don’t agree, okay, that’s a really important part of gotta listen.

26:24
Again, I think people need to understand that they can, they can hack their subconscious brains. And to do that, you know, the best advice I can give you and your listeners is put aside 15 minutes every single day to whatever you want to call it. You can call it self hypnotize. Or you can call it Craig, really visualize whatever you want to call it, give it a label, but ultimately, 15 minutes, I have a very specific way that I do it. I can talk you through it, if you want. But also,

26:47
do it tell us tell us? Yeah, so

26:49
a very specific way and everything, everything that I visualize this sounds like a large bold claim, but I got to, I got to back it up, right. Everything that I visualize comes into fruition, it comes into reality, but not as the law of attraction, right. So let me explain. So the 15 minutes are quite simple. So the first five minutes you spend relaxing your physical body, the best way to relax your physical body is just find somewhere comfortable, close your eyes, and visualize a purple light. And just call that your head, your purple light of relaxation, and you visualize that going into your feet first. And then you say to yourself over and over, my feet are relaxed, my feet are relaxed, my feet are relaxed. But as you’re saying that actually actively try and allow the muscles and nerves and tendons in your feet to relax. And then you bring that relaxation over your ankles, your shins, your knees, your thighs. So you bring that purple light the whole way through your body. Well, what happened is your physical body will just begin to relax. So then, after about five minutes of doing that, then you focus on your breathing. So I have a specific style of breathing I like to use, which is the 636 technique. There’s lots of different techniques out there. This is just my own version of a breathing technique. So I inhale for six seconds, I hold for three seconds, and exhale for six, inhale for six, hold for three, exhale for six. And when you focus on the breath, what happens is because your physical body is relaxed, and because your your breathing is slowing down, and you’re focused on your breathing, ultimately you’re entering into an alpha brainwave state, that’s what’s happening scientifically. So already hooked you up to an ECG machine, that’s what’s happening, you’re going into an alpha brainwave state, then for the final five minutes, because you’re in that sweet spot that you need to be in to creatively visualize and create those new neural pathways. You imagine that you’re in a cinema or a movie theater and just visualize whatever it is you need to visualize on a screen, and then in your head, turn up the controls, make it more colorful, I didn’t sounds turn up the volume, and really immerse yourself in that experience. So here’s what will happen. new neural pathways will be created like you’re not the same person today, they were yesterday, and you won’t be the same person tomorrow, we are creating new mental synapses and new mental pathways day in day out all day long, right. So ultimately, if you do that for just 21 days to begin with, to create the habit of it, at the end of that 21 days, you’ll actually find yourself actively progressing towards that goal, whatever it is, in other words, if it’s for example, I don’t know running marathon, if you’re finding difficult, difficult to get up out of bed and train, you’ll find at the end of 21 days, you’re actually bouncing out of bed and you’re just going to train without even thinking about it. Because what’s happening is in the background, your subconscious mind is problem solving for you with regards to that, because you’re programming your mind to do it. And that’s what people need to realize you can program your mind to do anything, but then you have to back it up with massive action. So that’s the thing. You can’t just sit there visualize yourself getting a Ferrari and expecting to turn up inside your house, which is what the law of attraction is about, right? You need to visualize and then back it up with massive action. So for me, like the things that I’ve visualized in the last year, I remember talking about my keynotes at the start of the pandemic, like whatever, early March 2020. And throughout 2020, I was telling people Oh, yeah, so I’m gonna have a book deal by the end of the pandemic and I’ll have the book written and published and and I’m saying this and keynotes and I could see people turn their heads towards me on this guy’s crazy. And I’m saying there’s got to get back on Ellen DeGeneres, even though they were only allowing a list Hollywood superstars on the program, so ultimately, I just visualized every day. But I backed it up with massive action, sending out hundreds of emails and hundreds of phone calls and just putting in the effort, right. So I ended up on Ellen DeGeneres virtually from my cabin, you can find that up on YouTube. And I was saying that my keynotes every single day, and I was visualizing it every day, but I was making hundreds of phone calls and emails, the Ellen Show, badgering them, I got a book deal for the book did really well went to the top three, nonfiction paperback and then visualize myself getting a new TV show at RT, even when, in Ireland, the majority of television companies and networks, they’re not really making anything because of the pandemic. But my TV shows, you know, is airing right now. So there’s three examples of just things that I created, visualized from the past year. And even now as I talk to you, I know by the end of this year, I’m going to have a new TV show in the US not because I haven’t inked, so I don’t have it inked. It’s because I’m visualizing it every day. And then I’m taking massive action to make that happen. So in other words, I’m meeting people here, I’m booking flights go to LA to pitch to networks, partner up with production companies, all of the work that it takes fit.