#117 Juggling Homework and Home-Office: A Parent’s Guide to Balancing Work and Family

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Welcome to the 360 leadership podcast, the top rated show for driven women in senior leadership with new episodes released every Wednesday. I’m your host, Lucy Gernon, a multi award winning executive coach for women leaders and the founder of 360. Leaders Club exclusive high level membership for career driven family orientated women just like you. I created the 360 leadership podcast to share practical tips, actionable step by step strategies, and inspiring stories to support you to unlock the power and belief within to accelerate your impact and potential. So you can build a life filled with success, balance and happiness. So are you ready to achieve 360 degree success? No more excuses. No more waiting. Your time is now. Hi, there, and welcome back to this week’s episode of the 360 leadership podcast. I hope you’re doing well. Just do a little check in with yourself today as you’re listening to this. How are you feeling? Are you feeling good? Are things stressing you out? Whatever it is, get curious with yourself. And if you’re feeling good, get really curious about what specifically is making you feel good? Who was supporting you? what processes are supporting you? And really lean more into that? And then equally, if you are not feeling so good? It’s about getting really being compassionate with yourself and getting curious around what is it that needs to specifically change? Because one thing I know for sure is that the Juggle is real. And you know, sometimes when we feel tension, or we’re feeling anxious, or we’re stressed, it just means we’re not in alignment with our flow and who we really are and what we’re doing here to do in this earth. And it’s actually just a sign from the universe or God or the higher powers that be whatever way you want to call the higher power. If you believe in it, I definitely do that something needs to change. So what is it that needs to change? And what is it that you need to do more of this just two little reflective questions I encourage you to reflect on as we open the show today. So things are going really, really good for me. When this episode comes out, I will be back from lanzar RT. So I’ve done a good nice bit of travel this year already I was in Dubai with my family at the end January, we had the best time I was in just in London karate not so long ago to for a business retreat, which was just so wonderful. I’m in a mastermind group with some women in business. And I also have a private coach as well. I mean, both of her groups, I upgraded to VIP one to one coaching and I’m in her group as well. And I just love having the support. You guys know I talk all the time about the importance of investing in yourself with mentors, coaches, courses, personal trainers, whatever it that is for you. You don’t have to do everything alone. And I’ve definitely been leaning in to invest in myself more and more and more over the last few years. And every time I do more for me, I actually do more for others. So it’s a little paradox that I think sometimes when we think about investing in ourselves, we think it’s selfish and feelings of guilt can come up. But actually when you do more for you, you actually end up doing more for others. So with that being said, let’s talk all about juggling home life working at home and being a parent. Now what prompted me to record this week’s episode of the show is that right now, as I’m recording this, my eight, almost eight year old, she’s seven going on eight, she’s my littlest baby is home sick. And there’s been a few things I’ve been doing with her I still had to work I had client calls, I had a burn, we’re going away on holidays to just be as I’m recording this, we’re going to Dubai in a couple of days. So I’m kind of on a tight deadline, I can’t I don’t just have the luxury of saying I’ll take a couple of days off. So I want to share how I suppose how I do it. I’m a mother of three. So I’ll just reintroduce myself if you’ve been listened to my podcast for a while probably haven’t done that in ages. Actually. I am a mother of three. So I am a multi award winning executive coach. But apart from that, and apart from the certifications, and the awards and the results and everything, I’m just a mother at the end of the day I live and breathe my children. And the reason I do what I do is for my family I just I don’t actually I’m getting emotional shocker. But they’re everything to me. And while I want to give them a great lifestyle and give them things that I didn’t have growing up, I also don’t want to forget the foundations of what my mother brought up in me which was family values. And her famous expression is always has always been, all they want is your time. So we try and give them the time that they need and make them feel seen and heard. But there’s times like this week where I got shit to do, I might have things I need to get over the line. So I’m gonna just prompted me to think about, well, actually, Easter holidays are approaching soon. So why not release this episode of the show to support you if you are working at home, while you were trying to mind your children. So in Ireland, like, at the moment, like I said, I’m not sure about other parts of the world, we have a it’s actually a two week break. And it’s quite a long time, especially when you’ve got juggling work commitments, and you might need to care for your children who don’t have childcare, and all of that stuff. And it can make you feel like you’re failing, it can make you feel like Oh, my God, I’m not doing enough in work, and I’m not doing enough for my children on my house has fallen to pieces and why what’s wrong with me? Why can’t I keep on top of Annie everything? Have you ever thought that if you have you are not alone, it’s super challenging, being a mother. And being a mother and being a leader, especially if you’re leading a team in a large organization where you’ve got a lot of responsibilities and a lot of pressures and a lot of senior stakeholders that you need to be accountable to, it’s a lot. But then you’ve got the little people in your lives who need you. Or if you’re like me, I have got a good I got age range, my eldest is 16 going on 17, as my mother would say, my littlest one is just actually turned eight when you’re listening to this podcast. So I think it’s really important to be compassionate with yourself and realize that you are doing your best. And honestly, for me, family is everything. But there is ways that we can make things a little bit easier. So in this episode, we are going to explore strategies for effectively managing work and family responsibilities while you’re working from home. So I’m going to do we’re going to delve into some really practical tips for both younger children, like I just mentioned, my little girl Kate, and for older kids, too, with some specific advice tailored to based on my experience based on what I do with my children. Now, big disclaimer, I am not a parenting expert. And I actually don’t believe in parenting experts, I think you’re the expert on your own children. So I’m just going to share with you what I’ve been doing and why I’m qualified, quote, unquote, to do this is I’ve been raising kids for almost 17 years, I’ve tried a thing or two, I’ve run my own business at home. And when I worked in the corporate world, I would have worked at home one day a week as well. So I have a few little tips and tricks. So what we’re going to be discussing is planning your week, effectively, how to involve those younger children in your home office or in your workspace, to how to encourage responsibility in your older kids, and how to, I suppose put boundaries in place around screen time and stuff like that. So this will hopefully help you to navigate the challenging world of motherhood and leadership today. So some key strategies, let’s let’s start with the younger children.

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So let’s talk about the the ones under the age of eight. Now, I’m not talking about the two year olds and three year olds, sorry, girls, that is just really, really difficult age. And it’s very, very challenging to mind a child of that age and work I’m kind of talking more about when kids kind of start school and they’re at that school going age where they can have some responsibility and you can keep them busy. So let’s say this is really for kids, I would say between five and eight really. So I think the first thing to do is to what I do is when Kate say, for example, was off sick this week, she was really needy, she had a temperature, she was coughing, she was on Neurofen and Calpol before eventually took her to the doctor after three days, and she’s now on an antibiotic. But for the first day, she was super needy, and I had a lot of calls on that day. Now, thankfully, I didn’t have clean calls, they were all team calls and other things, business I had to take care of. So what I did was instead of telling her to go away, and Mommy needs the office, and please go play with your toys, or go put her by herself and you know, in her bedroom was literally right next door to my office. What I decided to do, and I’ve done it many, many times and this works for her is I’ll create like a little workspace for her within my own office. So I bring in a chair and she comes on to the computer with me, she picks out a couple of coloring pages that she might like we just literally go on to Google and type in like Easter coloring for example will be a good one for this time of year or St. Patrick’s Day coloring, did a Christmas etc. And let them pick out a couple of things they’d like to color and then print them out. And then what I did was, you know, set her up with like little colors in front of me. And it’s worked a charm, she was quiet as a mouse, and she is the loudest child who needs a lot of attention. But she was so happy that I was allowing her in the space. You know, we set ground rules before that, you know, Mommy’s going to be talking and things like that. So that’s the first thing is actually invite them into your office space where you can give them activities to keep them busy, as opposed to keeping them away, because they’re just gonna want you, then obviously, like, get yourself up for success. So think about how can I entertain my child today, while I work, don’t wait for them to come to you looking for an entertainment. Like, think ahead, buy them some playdough or buy a new jigsaw or, you know, look up on Google, there’s tons of like, homemade games that you can get them to make. But whatever you do, just plan in your head that you have activities for them. Okay? The other thing then is to make sure that you’re creating rules and boundaries around calls. So what Kate would know that she does certain times of the day where she can come in, like I work from home full time, apart from when I’m out doing corporate work and events, and the certain times where she can’t. So when it’s a time that she can come in, even though I don’t really want her to come in at all. But you’ve got to allow I leave the door open a bit, okay. But she knows that if the door is closed, not to come in, and most of the time 95% of the time she abides by that. So just before I go on a call, for example, if it’s an important call with a client, where it’s one to one, or I’m delivering a training where it’s being recorded, I will let her know not to come in. Does she always listen? No. Which brings me on to my next point. Recently I was recording in fight 360 leaders club we do a couple of different live calls every single month or we do four actually four different calls. And on one of the calls, we do a replay and I was recording the the session so we’ll go out and replay I’m Kate comes in where and her stitch Snoddy snooty Adi, whatever you call them, you know those fleecy hooded things. And she came in in the middle of the call, like, what could I do on a laugh? So I brought her over and got to say hi to people. So as opposed to pretend and she wasn’t there, invite them in because people love that. And I actually did a LinkedIn post. And I think I did an Instagram one as well. And I got tons of comments and tons of messages from people saying like how cute it was. So people think kids are cute. So don’t worry if they come in on your calls, even if it’s with a client, or a CEO, or someone really important that you think won’t like it does nothing you can do. Okay, and you might as well embrace it. So now let’s talk about older kids. So I have two older kids, too. I have Jaden who is almost 1716 and ceremi. Who is now 12, or my God, how do I have kids are sold anyway. So for those, what I really don’t want is my kids lying around all day. So if you don’t have teenagers yet, you won’t realize that the days of the little ones wanting you doesn’t last forever, unfortunately, which is probably why I embrace it. They want to be in the room a lot like lying down watching YouTube on Snapchat, and I am allergic to devices, as I’m sure a lot of you are. But I tried to put in kind of boundaries around it. So I think it’s really important that you establish those boundaries with your children to try to promote healthy habits. But teenagers are of that age and preteens think they get bored. And sometimes we have a mountain of responsibility in the home that we don’t get our kids involved in. So I recommend that you assign age appropriate tasks so that they feel like they’re responsible for things. So for example, Jaden is fantastic. He does the laundry, he does a lot of the laundry for me actually. And so he knows if he wants to go out. If he’s on midterm, he doesn’t just get to get up by 11 o’clock and get served as breakfast and go out into town and come home and get his dinner and go to bed. He pretty much knows that there. He has responsibilities. So he would do laundry. That’s basically his his main thing that he would do. He would walk the dog, he would often go to Tesco or Aldi for me if I need something, or go to the post office. He’s done things like that for me as well. So I think it’s really important that you delegate to your children, as well as delegating to your team, which is a whole other episode. Sarah May for example, like she will do the dishwasher or I’ll ask her to Hoover or to tidy up and making sure that you involve them because I think it’s really really really important, but equally just to bring it back. Like for Jaden, for example, he’s actually doing work experience with me in my business, which is fantastic every Monday he’s here with me So I’ve been teaching him basic things like how to file my expenses into months, because I hate doing anything to do with finances, you know, and filing expenses and receipts. But I’ve got to keep organized, because I will not keep on top of things. So I’ve taught them how to file things properly. Some of you actually who are listening some of my 360 members, you might have received things in the post from me. And you might have seen little handwritten addresses that would have been written by Jaden to help me as well. So little jobs like that are teaching him things like teaching your kids how to write an envelope, and how to go to the post office, I, you know, things like that I think are super, super important. So they’re just some of the things that I would say is like, get your kids involved, and all of those tips, I really, really hope that they helped. And then finally, let’s talk about you. Let’s talk about the guilt that might come up when you’re working at home, and you’re trying to find children. So please recognize that guilt is a natural response in this situation. But it’s really important to set realistic expectations for yourself. So this is where prioritization and delegation comes in at the forefront. Okay. So it’s really, really important that you’re clear on, you know, we’re shifting into that results focused thinking, as opposed to a to do list, think about what are the really important results you need to create. So for example, for me today, as catered home sick, by hook or by crook, I was getting four podcast episodes recorded, okay, that’s a big undertaking, it takes me by an hour per episode. By the time I don’t even edit the audio, I don’t do any the website stuff. I’m talking purely about getting it recorded and get myself in the zone. So I had to do that. So you know, that’s my results. So if I get nothing else done today, then that will be a win for me. Okay. Do I have a million emails at the moment? Yes. Are there a million smaller the tasks I wish I could do? Yes. But which is the one thing that’s going to make me sleep easy tonight is a strategic move right now, which is having something done now. So I can go on holidays next week, and really, really switch off. So it’s the same for you think about the tasks that you’re gonna be like, Oh, thank God, I got that done. At least I got that done. And then go and spend some time with your kids. The other thing to say then just before I finish up is, don’t be afraid to seek support. You know, you don’t have to bear this burden on your own. So ask your partner, ask friends, neighbors, extended family, and ask them to share the responsibilities with you. You do not have to do this world of motherhood alone, if

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you’re listening to me. And if you’re listening, and you don’t have children, or your kids are well gone out of the house, like a lot of my clients would be in their 50s. For example, a lot of their kids are in college and stuff like that some of their 40s, too, obviously. And so just remember, if you’re past that stage of life, remember those people on your team who are still in the thick of it, just be kind, be compassionate, be supportive. So that is it for this week’s episode, just to quickly quickly recap on what I shared. So in order to help you to juggle homework, home life and office life, you got to set yourself up for success by getting clear on your plan. What do you want to achieve this week, set clear goals and schedule time for your work and your family activities. So you’re not overwhelmed. Remember to involve your younger children in your office, create a little area for them and give them activities so that they can be involved and be near you, because that’s all they want. And again, go to Google to find those coloring sheets. The interviewer got older kids give them boundaries around the screen time around when they need to go outside to get some air and give them some household chores to help you out and to teach them responsibility. And then finally, don’t be afraid to involve them in office tasks. So if you have some stuff that they could be doing for you like finding a way your expenses or organizing things for you or tidying up paperwork, kids absolutely love that stuff. So do not be afraid to use them. So that’s it for this week’s episode. If you have enjoyed this, I would really love if you could share it with a friend. And there’s a couple of other episodes that you might recommend that you might enjoy. So episode number 73 is how to support mothers who lead teams in the workplace with Geraldine Gallagher. Geraldine is a maternity coach who helps women transition back to the workplace. So I recommend you listen to that one. And another good episode to listen to if you want to further support women at work who have children is up So number 64, which is supporting mother working mothers in the workplace with Laura guangqiang, who is a fabulous, fabulous coach, my mommy coaching. So that’s it. Please do me a favor Will you just please share this podcast with your colleagues if you have team members who you know have small kids or you have colleagues who you know we’re juggling work at home, right now, literally grab the link, whack it in the WhatsApp group, send it out on an email. And like I always say you’ll be given them a gift. And don’t forget to follow the show and subscribe so you never ever miss an episode. So that’s it. Lovely Lady. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day. Happy Easter, if I’m not talking to you before then, and I will talk to you again same time, same place next week. Bye for now.