#130 How to Show Up and Lead During Challenging Personal Times

Lucy Gernon (00:00.846)
If you’ve ever had to show up to work and lead your team and deliver on everything amid serious personal challenges, maybe a loved one is sick, maybe there’s something going on financially, maybe there’s something happening in your personal life, it can be really, really, really challenging. And I know this because right now, as I record in this episode, I’m going through some stuff. So I’m feeling a little bit vulnerable coming on the show today, but I always like to share what I do in a hope that…

If I do something and I share it, it might help some of you. So if you listen to this week’s episode of the show, I’m going to teach you exactly what I’m doing to ensure that I can show up for my team and for my clients amid a personal challenge that’s happening in my life right now. So I hope you gain some value from this episode.

Lucy Gernon (00:55.086)
Hi there and welcome back to the 360 Leadership Podcast. You are very welcome here. If you’re new here, I’m Lucy Gernon, your host and multi award winning executive coach for women in leadership roles. I specialize in high performance, in mindset, in leadership, and I’m all about confidence building so that you can accelerate your success, reach your potential and lead your team and make the impact that I know that you’re capable of.

all while building a life filled with success, balance and happiness where anything is possible. Because girls, we absolutely can have it all. OK? So on this week’s episode of the show, I’m doing this like totally unscripted. I have no notes or anything if you’re watching me. Normally I have notes to make sure that I actually stay on track. But today I’m just feeling like I need to share what’s on my heart with you.

because I know that if I’m going through something in my life that you’re definitely going to be going through stuff too. So for the last year, I would say, there has been a lot of ups and downs in my life. Now, unfortunately, I know you’re all like, oh my God, what is it? I can’t get into too much detail, but let’s just say that there’s been stuff, there’s been challenges happening. Like my mom hasn’t been well and there’s been challenges with my husband and his life.

like our marriage is fine and everything, don’t worry. But there’s just been stuff like he’s been going through it. And my sisters have been going through it. My best friend has been building a house. And I’ve kind of felt like I my support systems that usually would be the ones supporting me. I’ve been trying to support them. And I suppose as a coach as well, like my job is to support other people. And I realized that I was.

I suppose, how am I going to even say this? I wasn’t really feeling supported because I wasn’t asking for it, OK? I’m the kind of person that you guys probably know me by now. I’m quite positive. I like to be upbeat about things. I am always optimistic and I find it really challenging to deal with negative emotions. So that’s something that I I know that all of these things are being sent into my life to challenge me. I know they’re being sent to build resilience.

Lucy Gernon (03:12.622)
And there’s a few things that I’m doing to kind of that I’ve been doing over the last year and continue to double down on to ensure that I can show up for my clients, to ensure I can still create this podcast, to ensure I can be a great mother for my children. And that’s what I wanted to share with you today. So the first thing that I’m doing is, which I wasn’t doing, is I am allowing myself to be more vulnerable and actually talk about what’s happening.

So I’m the kind of person that I don’t like to bring drama to other people’s doors. I like to just deal with things myself. But I realized that actually I was bearing a lot and not talking about it wasn’t helping. So that’s my invitation for you that I want you to know that if there’s something happening in your life, like I’ve worked with people before who, you know, they’ve had to show up and lead their teams when a parent is dying and they’re trying to support and.

a sick child or a husband might have lost a job or there’s financial worries or there’s been a tragedy in the family. Like I’ve worked with people who have had to deal with this or they’re dealing with, you know, sibling like family arguments where there’s arguments over money and land and stuff like that. And all of that stuff happens in everybody’s life. OK, everybody has shit in their lives.

at one point or another, it’s just the roller coaster of life. And I think the first thing that I would invite you to do that is if you’re going through something, please ensure that you have a safe space where you can actually talk about it. So your friends are not too busy to listen to you. OK, if you’re like me, like, you know, my friends are amazing, but I don’t really like to burden them. I didn’t used to. Now I’m all over it.

but it’s not a burden because people like to help. So I want you to know that you have friends, no matter, you know, it doesn’t matter how long it’s been since you’ve spoken to them. If you’re going through something, just pick up the phone, pick up the phone and have a conversation about what’s on your heart. It’s going to help you so, so much. OK, that’s the first thing. The second thing that I’ve been doing is in particular when it comes to, I suppose, showing up for my team.

Lucy Gernon (05:34.894)
and showing up for my clients and showing up for you guys here on the podcast is I’m really doubling down on self care, really doubling down on self care. So I go for a monthly massage. Like that’s like my new thing for the last probably three months. I’m a lot better at like getting my nails done, for example. These are tiny little things, but they give you a lot. They give you that like dopamine hit. So doubling down on self care and realizing that.

in order for you to be able to give to other people, to be able to give to your team, to give to your family, your loved ones, your organization, to deliver on everything. You’ve got to fill your own cup. OK, so if you’re just working all the time in a stressful environment and then you’ve got stuff going on in your personal life as well, it’s even more.

critical than ever that you actually take care of yourself. OK, so whatever that looks like, that will be the second thing I would say to you. The third thing that I’m doing is I’m really leaning into positive psychology, so really leaning into positive psychology tools. So there’s a positive psychology intervention called silver linings where you always think about like, well, what’s the silver lining in this? What’s the silver lining? What might this particular?

lesson or thing be here to teach me. And that’s where I live. I literally live in that space. But where I used to not be great was allowing myself to feel the negative emotions. So I actually worked with a coach on that. And I told her, like, I don’t like feeling in a negative space, but I know that that’s part of life. And, you know, I don’t ever want to be that toxic positivity person because that’s not helpful. So I would really, really invite you, though, to, yes, allow yourself to feel the negative things.

But it’s all about shifting your mindset then into, OK, well, what might be the silver lining here? What’s the lesson or the blessing in this? Because there’s always a lesson or there’s always a blessing in every single situation. Like even if, you know, the loss of a loved one, which can be super painful, maybe the blessing there is that you have a stronger relationship with somebody else in your family that would never have happened had this loss not occurred.

Lucy Gernon (07:54.446)
There’s always ways that you can look at, I suppose, the positives in the situation, which is where I literally live. And I swear, it’s the thing that’s getting me through. So that’s one positive psychology tool I’m using. The other one, which is literally if you don’t practice gratitude, you should not be listening to this podcast because I talk about it so often. But we know from the science of positive psychology that people who practice gratitude.

get into an elevated state called transcendence. OK. And transcendence is like a higher state of being. It’s a higher state of consciousness. And when you’re in that kind of high vibrational state, you’re going to feel amazing. You’re going to feel like you’re going to feel like source energy. You’re going to just be so aligned with who you are and why we’re here. It’s going to make you feel better. So literally, it might sound woo woo to some of you, depending on.

where you’re on your spiritual journey. But I promise you, if you lean into gratitude every single morning, just three things takes five minutes, not even three things you’re grateful for and why three things you’re grateful for and why. And to make it even more powerful, think about people you’re grateful for or situations you’re grateful for and bring in that silver linings as well. So when I when I’m going through some things like.

I just really start to lean into gratitude and go, I’m so grateful that I’m well. I’m so grateful that my children are well, like when my mom was sick and things like that. I try to not focus on what is happening and I try to focus on, OK, what do I want? Which is another step, I would say, for you to take is when things are hard and, you know, you’re leaning into support, you’re doing your gratitude, you’re trying to find the silver linings. What’s

really important is that you keep your eyes on the prize and you hold the vision of what you want. So it’s not about focusing on what’s actually happening to you right now. It’s actually more about placing your attention on what you want. So, for example, in my case, I want everyone else in my life to be happy. I want I have a vision of like, you know,

Lucy Gernon (10:12.078)
my mom being well and, you know, all the other people that are going through some stuff that things are working out for them. And that’s where I hold my attention, because we know we know from quantum physics. I’m not getting into it today with the whole science of manifestation. The biggest mistake people make when it comes to change in their life is we focus too much on the current situation. And when you focus on the current situation, you go into like a negative spiral. You go into a downward spiral.

where you cannot attract good things into your life. Whereas if you start to practice gratitude and you start to, you know, even get playful and like make jokes about like shitty situations that are happening, it’s going to raise your vibrational energy. You’re going to visualize what you actually want and it’s going to happen a lot sooner. And I’ve done that time and time again.

So that’s it for this week’s episode of the show. I feel a little vulnerable sharing it like it’s totally off the cuff. I really hope that you found this useful, though. I hope you got some tools from it. I’m not saying discount what’s happening in your life. I’m not saying, you know, negative emotions are not good because they are. They’re just they’re your internal guidance system telling you that this is you’re not in alignment. You’re not in alignment. You’re not where you’re supposed to be. So it’s about.

just leading into the tools that I shared and just trying to take really, really good care of yourself instead of just throwing yourself into your work and working all the hours, hoping it all goes away, like trying to allow yourself to experience some level of joy, some level of gratitude along the way. Because again, from a growth mindset perspective, we know that, you know, life is not supposed to be plain sailing. Unfortunately, shit happens and it’s about using the tools and.

stuff like that along the way to support you to get through it. So that’s it. I think I needed a glass of wine after sharing all of this stuff. But anyway, I did. And I’m proud of myself. I did. I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, will you just send me a little DM? Send me a DM on LinkedIn or Instagram. Let me know what you took from the episode. Did you find it useful? And if you did and you know a female leader or colleague,

Lucy Gernon (12:28.27)
or friend who is going through a hard time and she has to show up and lead and she, you know, she’s trying to keep it all together. Please share this episode with her or with them, with your groups of women leaders, wherever you have them on emails or WhatsApp and get them to have a listen. Because I know that every person who listens to the show is going to take one thing. That’s all I ever want you to do. Just take one thing and go and implement it into your life. And you’ll be helping me with my mission.

to empower 100 ,000 women leaders to accelerate their impact and potential so they can live a life filled with success, balance and happiness too. So until next time, I hope you have a great week. I’ll see you again next Wednesday. Same time, same place. Until then, bye for now.